As I've previously mentioned, I've been out of commission for a few days now following some surgery that requires me to keep a pretty large bandage over my face/right eye. Because of that and the swelling it's difficult to keep my eyes open for too long at a time, so while I rest my eyes I listen to Pandora radio.
Yesterday I was walking across the room and stepped on a small piece of wire. Further investigation revealed it was what was left of my earbuds. A detailed crime scene investigation uncovered the rest of the carcass.
Luke quickly became the prime suspect. The tip-off was the little piece of the deceased earbud he was chewing on. I knew I had him cornered. All I needed was a confession.
"So, Luke....I know you did it. But why? Revenge? Abused childhood? Some kinky lover's triangle? What?"
"No, nothin' like that Big Guy. It turns out I'm...whew...this is tough to admit. I'm an addict. No, not drugs or anything bad like that. I'm addicted to the finer things in life, like your ear wax."
"Go on."
"Well, you know how I silently walk across the top of your big leather chair back cushion, get right behind your head while you're watching football on TV, then slip you a big, sloppy 'wet Willie' (tongue in the ear)? Now I can't get enough of your ear wax. It's 'to die for!' Better than creme brulee, or a fine French truffle, or even a Twinkie. You're delicious!"
But...how...
"You left your earbuds on the table by your chair, plugged into your tablet. A quick sniff and I knew....I had to have 'em! I just couldn't help myself. Sorry. Am I gonna be away for long?"
Book him, Dano. Case closed. (Those CSI boyz have nothin' on me. :)
S
Yes, Luke can still talk. No, I haven't found a freak show willing to put him to work yet. I mean...Jeez...a talking DOG! What more do they want?
Mmmmm...ear wax. Someone I know on Facebook has to have the same thing done to his nose today. I tried to tell him what he was in for afterwards.
ReplyDeleteI guess ear wax is a delicasy compared to dog poop!
ReplyDeleteI really like this playful side of your writing. And I see that Luke is worming his way into your affections. I'm glad.
ReplyDeleteSuch is my distaste for shopping that I would have been devastated by the loss of the ear buds. I don't suppose Luke can shop for you now that he talks?
ReplyDeleteBuy some Q-Tips and give him a treat.
ReplyDeleteLOL! This could have had a really bad outcome...Luke might have eaten your earbuds along with the strings!
ReplyDeleteNeed I mention my cat who had an addiction to Christmas tree tinsel. Need I mention that we not only found it in the litter box, but also hanging from her...you know, just below her tail...
However, my cat wasn't talkin' and we quit puttin' up tinsel.