The world's toughest job? Being the public relations guy for a bank. This was a tiny little article in today's paper:
Greece offered universal health coverage until an agreement with its international lenders (banks) stipulated the unemployed must pay for their own treatment.
Isn't this just bringing the unemployed into line with the banking policy of charging customers a hefty fee for bouncing a check? They're just charging you more of what they already know you don't have any of. Duh!
A close second might be the PR guy representing Foxconn, the huge Chinese electronics contractor who employs hundreds of thousands of low-wage workers to assemble iPads for Apple. (Their motto...."The beatings will continue until morale improves.")
"They actually like working 18 hour days, on account of there isn't anything to do back in the dorm with their 250 roommates."
The Feds are suing Bank of America, accusing them of making home loans without ever even checking borrower credentials, a policy known mockingly within the company as "the Hustle". They then sold the loans to Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, where they mostly went straight into default.
The taxpayers had to assume the loss when Fannie and Freddie failed, and now the Feds are going back on B of A. How might the bank's PR guy possibly spin this? "Ahh....umm....the Hustle?....that was just a dance contest we had on casual Friday's, that's all. We're good."
Another tough one....the PR guy for bankrupt American Airlines. "If we don't give big bonuses to our senior executives we'll lose our top talent to our competitors."
Dude, you're BANKRUPT. You don't HAVE any top talent. That's why you're BANKRUPT!
You can't bullshit an old bullshitter. ;)
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Selling those mtgs to Freddie and Fannie was a sham and someone should pay...jail maybe? One question, why was Freddie and Fannie buying them? Was anyone holding a gun to their head? Were they required by law to buy and trust the banks? Maybe someone at Freddie and Fannie should be bunking in jail with the B of A dudes (or Dudettes.)
ReplyDeleteProbably no one goes to jail, just take some money from the stockholders and they will let the real scum work out new scams!
YOu are right, how do PR people sleep at night?
Nice post!
Joe....why were Fannie and Freddie buying them? 'Cause their executive's bonuses were tied to their profits, regardless of how fleeting those profits were. It was a sham all the way around.
ReplyDeleteShould some bankers be in jail? Hell yes!! But you know they won't.
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I always love when a company goes bankrupt the executives still have to draw their hefty bonuses. And they always use that excuse you mention, "If we don't pay them, they'll go somewhere else!" Good! They drove the company into the ground! I mean you could hire me to run your company into the ground for you; I'd do it for a bargain at a million dollars.
ReplyDeleteDid you ever see "Thank You for Smoking" about a weaselly tobacco company lobbyist? Those are the kind of people these companies have to have working for them to do the spin control.
These banks took none of the risks and kept all of the profits, passing their losses along to the taxpayers. Jail time---HELL yes.
ReplyDeleteLOL! Good one, Scott.
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